An Australian Love Poem.

Of course I love ya darlin
You’re a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you’re gorgeous
I mean every single word  

So ya bum is on the big side
I don’t mind a bit of flab
It means that when I’m ready
There’s somethin there to grab

So your belly isn’t flat no more
I tell ya, I don’t care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
Yurs just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I’m tellin’ ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna’s grave now
The moment that we met
I  thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like
I’ll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footballs’ on
And fetch another beer.

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” 

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.