Archive for the ‘Laugh & Learn’ Category

Originally Posted by STUNTgirls (Used with Permission)

 Big news today, hey? We have Australia’s first female Governor General Quentin Bryce swearing in our first female Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. 

It has been an amazing morning. The news broke via text message from the caucus meeting at Parliament House – a sitting MP sent a message to Samantha Maiden, journalist with the Australian.  The message simply said “G no ballot” meaning that Julia Gillard became PM without a vote – Kevin Rudd had stood down. 

This message was twittered so fast that it reached journalists almost immediately. Some were checking their phones outside Parliament House during the coverage and relayed the news back to the stunned nation.  We now have a new Prime Minister. 

So what happened?  How did we go from having Kevin Rudd as PM one day, and Julia Gillard as PM the next?  Well, there are factions within the party divided along ideological lines. The factions that once supported Rudd removed their support and gave it to Gillard, allowing her to challenge the leadership assured that she would have the numbers when it came to a caucus vote.  

Basically – the Labor Party thought she’d do a better job and asked her to go for it.  So she did.

Ms Julia Gillard – 27th Prime Minister of Australia

The Australians have always been an inventive lot, not only did the Aboriginals invent some amazing things, in more recent history we have created some much needed things to make life easier and more comfortable. Here are more of our marvellous inventions.

1982 – The dual flush toilet
As dunnies have a celebrated status in Australia, it is apt that Australia has taken a central role in their evolution. In 1982, the dual flush toilet was responsible for savings in excess of 32000 litres of water per household a year. Pretty important in the world’s dries inhabited continent.

1984 – Baby Safety Capsule
Babies in a car crash used to bounce around like a soccer ball. In 1984, for the first time babies had a harness for their safe transportation in cars.

1985 – World’s Most Efficient Solar Cells
Dr Stuart Wenham and Professor Martin Green from the University of New South Wales produced the world’s first 20% efficient solar cell.

1988 – Plastic Banknotes
CSIRO and Note Printing Australia developed the world’s first polymer banknote made from tough flexible polypropylene plastics. These notes last longer and are more difficult to counterfeit than paper money.

1988 – Biological Pesticides
The world’s first non-chemical biological pesticide was invented at the University of Adelaide.

1995 – Jindalee Radar System
The United States of America spent $11 billion developing an aeroplane that could not be detected by radar. Scientists at the CSIRO then concluded that if the plane could not be detected, perhaps the turbulence it makes passing through air could be. $1.5 million later, the Jindalee Radar system had transformed the stealth bomber into nothing more than an unusual looking aircraft.

1998 – Hybrid Toilet
A lightweight, fully–enclosed toilet system which requires no water and minimal maintenance was released for sale.

2000 – Biodegradable Packaging
The Cooperative Research Centre for International Food Manufacture and Packaging Science developed new biodegradable packaging materials based on starch.

Pumpkin Scones

2 ozs. butter
3/4 cup castor sugar
1/2 cup well mashed, thoroughly drained cooked pumpkin
2 1/2 cups self raising flour
pinch salt
1 egg beaten well
1 teaspoon mixed spice
1/2 cup milk

Soften butter, beat in the sugar until creamy. Stir in the pumpkin, spice and beaten egg, mixing thoroughly. Sift together flour and salt and mix in. Add the milk, mix to a soft dough and then turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Pat or roll out to 3/4 inch thick, cut into rounds with a 2 inch cutter, flouring it each time you cut. Arrange scones on a lightly greased oven tray, brush tops with milk and bake in a hot oven about 15 minutes or until browned.

This has a verse removed as it was thought to be a derogatory reference to the Aboriginals though Rolf says the verse was misunderstood and never meant to be derogatory. He no longer sings that verse. This song was a hit for him in 1960.

Tie Me Kangaroo Down

by Rolf Harris

(spoken introduction)
There’s an old Australian stockman, lying, dying.
He gets himself up on one elbow, turns to his mates,
who are gathered ’round, and he says:

Watch me wallaby’s feed, mate,
Watch me wallaby’s feed.
They’re a dangerous breed, mate,
So watch me wallaby’s feed.
All together now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
Keep me cockatoo cool.
Don’t go acting the fool, Curl,
Keep me cockatoo cool.
All together now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

Take me koala back, Jack,
Take me koala back.
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac,
So take me koala back.
All together now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

Mind me platypus duck, Bill,
Mind me platypus duck.
Don’t let him go running amuck, Bill,
Mind me platypus duck.
All together now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

Play your didgeridoo, Blue,
Play your didgeridoo.
Keep playing ’til I shoot through, Blue,
Play your didgeridoo.
All together now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred,
Tan me hide when I’m dead.
(spoken)
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde,
And that’s it hanging on the shed.
All together now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.