Archive for the ‘Aussie Humour’ Category

Welcome to our next caption competition on Australian Native T-Shirts Blog! The caption that tickles everyone’s fancy the most will win a stuffed toy Tasmanian Devil delivered directly to your door!

Here is the picture we’re asking for submissions for:

 

Photo credit: wendishness

 It’s a very cute picture of an Tasmanian Devil – good luck with your entries! The competition starts on December 1st 2009 and ends on 21st of December 2009.

The prize for this competition is a plush toy Tasmanian Devil called Diego that retails for $22.00 – it will be shipped via registered post Australia wide or Airmail worldwide.

No purchase is required for entry into this competition, simply send us your caption as a comment and provide a valid email address so we can contact the winner for their shipping details. Your email address will not be sold or redistributed under any circumstances. The winner will be chosen by a poll on the blog with the top 5 captions of our choosing for visitors to vote on. The winner will be announced on the 10th of January by first name and suburb only – privacy is important to us at Australian Native T-Shirts and your details will not be shared with anyone.

The Prize!

 

 

Thanks to everyone who entered the November Caption Competition, again we saw some great entries and it’s hard to narrow them down to a few. We have selected the top five for voting.

Voting closes on 30th November at 6.00pm (AEDT) and only one vote per person but feel free to let others know about the voting and don’t forget to join in next month’s caption competition which starts on December 1st! What’s on offer with the new competition? You’ll have to come back to find out

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term ‘died in the arse’?

2. What is a “bloody little beauty”?

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

4. Explain the following passage: ‘In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.’

5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

6. Complete the following sentences:
a) ‘If the van’s rockin’ don’t bother ?
b) You’re going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?

7. I’ve had a gutful and I can’t be fagged. Discuss

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard ‘up on blocks’? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else’s beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?

15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people’s meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter ‘b’ is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to ‘prang a car’ while doing ‘circle work’?

19. Who would you like to crack on to?

20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson, John ‘True Blue’ Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?

22. What does “sinkin piss at a mates joint” and “getten para” mean?

23. How far would you wear your mockies?
Inside only?
Back yard only?
To the letter box?
To the milk bar for a packed of winni blues?
To the movies?
To shoppo? (large shopping centre)
To the pub?

Log On……Make the barbie hotter

Log Off……Don’t add any more wood

Monitor……Keeping an eye on the barbie

Download……Get the firewood off the ute

Floppy Disc……What you get lifting too much firewood at once

Window……What you shut when it’s cold

Screen……What you shut in the mozzie season

Byte……What mozzies do

Bit……What mozzies did

Mega Byte……What Townsville mozzies do

Chip……A bar snack

Micro Chip……What’s left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

Modem……What you did to the lawns

Dot Matrix……Old Dan Matrix’s wife

Laptop……Where the cat sleeps

Software……Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster

Hardware……Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart

Mouse……What eats the grain in the shed

Mainframe……What holds the shed up

Web……What spiders make

Web Site……The shed or under the verandah

Cursor……The old bloke that swears a lot

Search Engine……What you do when the ute won’t go

Upgrade……A steep hill

Server……The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch

Mail Server……The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch

User……The neighbour who keeps borrowing things

Network……When you have to repair your fishing net

Internet……Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape……When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net

Online……When you get the laundry hung out

Off Line……When the pegs don’t hold the washing up